A couple holding each other in front of a canyon filled with hot air balloons. Attachment focused EMDR is written above them
A couple holding each other in front of a canyon filled with hot air balloons. Attachment focused EMDR is written above them
A couple holding each other in front of a canyon filled with hot air balloons. Attachment focused EMDR is written above them

Mental Health

Attachment and EMDR: A Complete Guide to Healing Relational Trauma

By Cait Helton, LMFT

Jul 18, 2025

Introduction

If childhood neglect, abandonment, or emotional disconnection still shape the way you relate to others, you’re not alone—and more importantly, you’re not beyond help. These deep emotional wounds often leave invisible scars that follow us into adulthood, showing up in our relationships, our self-worth, and even our ability to feel safe with others. Thankfully, there’s a powerful, research-backed therapy designed to address exactly this kind of pain: Attachment-Focused EMDR (AF-EMDR).

Attachment-Focused EMDR is an evolution of traditional Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), tailored specifically for people with relational trauma and attachment injuries. Developed by Dr. Laurel Parnell, this approach blends neuroscience, trauma healing, and attachment work to create a safe, nurturing path toward emotional healing. It goes beyond just managing symptoms—it helps rewire the brain’s emotional patterns and build secure inner connections that were often missing in childhood.

Therapist and client engaged in a supportive EMDR therapy session in a calming office setting.

In this guide, we’ll walk you through everything you need to know about AF-EMDR, including what it is, how it works, who it’s for, and how it differs from standard EMDR. Drawing from APA-reviewed research, clinical practices, and real-life experiences, we’ll explore how this method can help people finally feel seen, safe, and supported—often for the first time.

Whether you’re a curious client, a trauma survivor, or a therapist seeking deeper tools, this comprehensive resource on EMDR and attachment therapy for adults will help you understand how attachment focused EMDR can guide true, lasting transformation.

What Is Attachment?

Definition and Purpose

Attachment theory helps us understand how relationships in childhood and beyond shape the way we connect with others throughout our lives. At its core, attachment is the emotional bond we form with our primary caregivers—usually parents or guardians—in infancy and childhood. When we are young, our developing brains are still forming neural pathways that teach us how to interpret the world based on our experiences early experiences teach us whether the world is safe, if people can be trusted, and how to regulate our emotions.

There are several attachment styles, and they typically develop in response to how consistently our emotional needs were met:

  • Secure attachment: The child feels safe, seen, and soothed. As adults, these individuals tend to have healthy, stable relationships.

  • Anxious attachment: The child gets inconsistent responses. This can lead to clinginess, fear of abandonment, and emotional highs and lows in adult relationships.

  • Avoidant attachment: When caregivers are emotionally unavailable or rejecting, the child learns to shut down emotions and rely only on themselves.

  • Disorganized attachment: Often a result of trauma, this style includes fear, confusion, and unpredictable behavior in relationships.

People showing signs of relational and attachment trauma including anxiety, emotional distance, and overwhelm.

The theory was first introduced by John Bowlby, a British psychologist who believed that early bonds with caregivers play a crucial role in child development and mental health. His work was later expanded by Mary Ainsworth, who developed the famous “Strange Situation” experiment to observe attachment behaviors in infants. More recently, clinicians like Diane Poole Heller have applied attachment work to therapeutic process and relationship trauma, bringing new insights into how these early patterns affect us across the lifespan. She has developed advanced techniques adapted for talk therapy that focus on attachment repair interventions.

John Bowlby, Diane Poole Heller, and Mary Ainsworth all beside each other.

How Attachment Styles Form

Insecure attachment doesn't come from one single traumatic event but instead its an attachment repair orientation system. It often forms when a child’s emotional or physical needs aren't met consistently. Caregivers might be loving at times but distracted, stressed, or emotionally unavailable at others. This inconsistency leads to confusion in the child and teaches them that relationships may not be dependable or safe, thus leading to a non secure attachment.

One influential study, known as the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study, showed a strong link between early life stress—like neglect, abuse, or household instability—and long-term physical and mental health challenges. These early experiences can disrupt the development of a secure attachment style. We have also noted ACEs to be related to future mental health issues like post traumatic stress disorder and physiological issues like diabetes and other medical conditions

Interestingly, research shows that a child only needs to have their emotional needs met about 30% of the time to develop a secure attachment. The key is repair—when caregivers miss a cue, but then come back to reconnect and soothe. It's not about being perfect—it's about being responsive and willing to repair the disconnect when it happens.

When these repairs don’t happen, children adapt by developing insecure attachment styles. This can show up in adulthood as:

  • Avoidant attachment, where closeness feels threatening, and independence is prioritized

  • Anxious attachment, where people crave connection but fear being abandoned

  • Disorganized attachment, where there is a strong disconnect from wanting and fearing vulnerability with others

These styles often exist on a spectrum between anxiety and avoidance, as explained in the Attachment Project. Understanding where you fall on this spectrum can be the first step toward healing, especially with therapies like Attachment-Focused EMDR, which are designed to address the root causes of these patterns and support secure, healthy relationships.

Is It Attachment-Informed or Attachment-Focused?

Defining the Terms

Comparison chart of Attachment-Informed vs. Attachment-Focused EMDR approaches.

When exploring EMDR for relational trauma, you might come across two similar terms: attachment-informed EMDR and attachment-focused EMDR. While they sound alike, they represent different approaches—and understanding the difference can help you find the right fit for your healing journey.

Attachment-Informed EMDR is a general approach where therapists incorporate ideas from attachment theory into their EMDR work. This might include being more sensitive to a client’s relational history, slowing down the process, or adding extra support during sessions. However, this approach can vary widely depending on the therapist’s training and style. There’s no specific structure or protocol guiding how attachment concepts are applied.

In contrast, Attachment-Focused EMDR—often referred to as AF-EMDR—is a formal, structured approach developed by Dr. Laurel Parnell, EMDR pioneer. It follows a clearly defined protocol that blends EMDR’s standard phases with attachment repair strategies. AF-EMDR includes specialized techniques like imaginal nurturers, resource installation, and relational interweaves to address deep-rooted attachment wounds. Therapists using this method are usually trained specifically in Dr. Parnell’s model and adhere to a more consistent, client-centered framework.

Which Approach Is Right for You?

Choosing between attachment-informed and attachment-focused EMDR depends on your needs, goals, and the complexity of your trauma history.

If you’ve experienced mild to moderate trauma and feel fairly secure in relationships, an attachment-informed EMDR therapist may be enough. This approach can still be sensitive to your background while offering flexibility in how sessions are structured. EMDR is a very integrative framework that can be commonly used to treat attachment deficits and work towards secure attachment experiences.

However, if you’ve faced traumatic childhoods like chronic neglect, emotional abuse, or grew up without a stable caregiver, Attachment-Focused EMDR might be a better choice. This modified EMDR protocol is designed specifically for people with developmental trauma and insecure attachment—providing a safer, more relational foundation before diving into trauma work.

Therapists often choose AF-EMDR when they work with clients who:

  • Struggle with trust or emotional closeness

  • Experience strong emotional flooding or dissociation

  • Have histories of childhood neglect, abandonment, or inconsistent caregiving

Ultimately, the best approach is one that feels safe, supportive, and aligned with your healing needs. Don’t be afraid to ask a potential therapist about their training, especially if you’re seeking Laurel Parnell’s attachment-focused EMDR training or someone certified in her protocol. A well-trained practitioner will help guide you toward what works best for your unique story.

What Is Attachment-Focused EMDR Therapy?

Definition and Purpose

A woman standing next to a circle with a number of treatment terms including Preparation, Assessment, Desensitization, and more.

Attachment-Focused EMDR (AF-EMDR) is a specialized form of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy designed to heal deep emotional wounds caused by developmental trauma and insecure attachment. While traditional EMDR is effective for processing traumatic memories—like those from accidents or single-incident traumas—AF-EMDR goes a step further. It’s built specifically for people who didn’t get the emotional care they needed growing up.

Developed by Dr. Laurel Parnell at the Parnell Institute, AF-EMDR blends standard EMDR protocols with the principles of attachment work. By bridging techniques like early attachment realtionships with the traditional emdr framework including integrating techniques like installing positive cognitions and vertical and bilateral integrations, mental health professionals are healing clients with a powerful tool. The result is a gentler, more relational approach to trauma healing. Instead of jumping straight into painful memories, AF-EMDR starts by helping the client build emotional safety and inner resources—especially important for those who experienced neglect, abandonment, or inconsistent caregiving in early life.

At its core, this EMDR approach focuses on restoring the client’s capacity to trust, connect, and feel safe in relationships. It recognizes that before we can process trauma, we must first feel supported—both internally and within the therapeutic relationship. That’s what sets this method apart.

How Attachment Theory Shapes AF-EMDR

It is the backbone of AF-EMDR. It’s based on the idea that our primary relationships—especially with caregivers—shape how we view ourselves, others, and the world. If those relationships were marked by emotional misattunement, inconsistency, or neglect, they can leave lasting imprints on our nervous system and sense of self.

Dr. Parnell’s approach centers around what she calls the “four S’s” of secure attachment:

  • Seen – Feeling understood and emotionally recognized

  • Safe – Knowing you won’t be hurt or shamed for expressing yourself

  • Soothed – Having someone help calm you when you’re upset

  • Secure – Trusting that support is consistent and dependable

Imagery representing emotional resourcing in EMDR, including comfort, grounding, and safety.

In clients with relational wounds, these experiences were often missing, possibly leading to developmental deficits. AF-EMDR helps reintroduce them—first through the therapeutic relationship, then through internal imagery and EMDR processing techniques. This approach not only desensitizes traumatic memories but also helps rebuild the emotional foundation that was never properly formed.

By combining attachment-focused repair with the brain’s natural capacity for healing through EMDR, AF-EMDR provides a powerful path toward emotional integration, resilience, and healthy relationships.

How AF-EMDR Works: Protocols, Phases & Practices

The 5 Basic Principles of Attachment-Focused EMDR

Attachment-Focused EMDR (AF-EMDR) is more than just trauma processing—it’s a carefully structured approach built on five key principles that help clients feel safe, supported, and empowered during their healing journey. These principles are especially important for individuals with early misattunements, where trust and emotional safety may have been missing from the start.

Here are the five foundational principles that guide AF-EMDR:

  1. Client-Centered and Strengths-Based
    AF-EMDR honors the client’s pace, needs, and natural wisdom. The therapist acts as a compassionate guide, not an authority figure. This approach focuses on building resilience and working from a place of strength, not just pain.

  2. Safety and Attunement Come First
    Before addressing trauma, AF-EMDR prioritizes creating emotional safety. The therapist works to establish a strong, attuned relationship so the client feels genuinely seen, heard, and supported—key components in healing relational trauma.

  3. Use of Internal Resources and Imaginal Figures
    Clients are encouraged to create and connect with imaginal nurturers—supportive, comforting figures (real or imagined) that provide emotional grounding. These internal resources help regulate emotions during trauma work and fill gaps left by early caregiving.

  4. Flexible Processing Pace
    Unlike traditional EMDR, which may follow a more rigid structure, AF-EMDR adapts to each client’s nervous system and readiness. Sessions may move slowly or pause altogether if emotional overwhelm arises. This flexibility is essential for healing attachment-related trauma.

  5. Deep Integration of Attachment Repair
    At every stage, AF-EMDR weaves in the goal of healing attachment injuries. Whether through relational interweaves, nurturing imagery, or therapist attunement, the work consistently supports emotional repair and reconnection.

Illustrated overview of the five foundational principles of Attachment-Focused EMDR therapy.

Expanded AF-EMDR Protocol

AF-EMDR uses a modified version of the traditional 8-phase EMDR protocol, reshaped to meet the needs of clients with developmental trauma or insecure attachment. While the core phases remain—like history-taking, desensitization, and installation—the AF-EMDR model adds essential layers of support and relational depth.

Key enhancements to the protocol include:

  • Resourcing Phase
    Before processing trauma, clients build emotional stability by working with positive internal resources. These may include imaginal nurturers, protective figures, or calming places—tools that help regulate the nervous system and build confidence.

  • Relational Interweaves
    When clients become stuck or emotionally flooded during processing, the therapist may introduce supportive statements or guided imagery to help the brain move through the block. These interweaves often address unmet relational needs, such as being seen, heard, or protected.

  • Imaginal Nurturers
    Clients are guided to create figures who offer comfort, protection, and reassurance. These internal attachment figures can be visualized during sessions to fill emotional voids left by early caregivers and support the healing process.

By combining the structure of EMDR with the warmth of attachment-focused therapy, AF-EMDR offers a more compassionate, customized approach—especially for adults who didn’t get the emotional support they needed as children. It’s not just about resolving memories; it’s about rewiring the emotional patterns that shaped a person’s life.

AF-EMDR in Practice: What to Expect

Preparation Phase: Building the Therapeutic Foundation

Before any trauma memories are processed, Attachment-Focused EMDR (AF-EMDR) starts by building a strong foundation of safety and connection. This early phase is essential—especially for individuals with attachment trauma—because it helps the client feel emotionally supported and grounded before doing deeper work.

The therapist and client work together to build trust, a process that may take several sessions. This trust becomes the backbone of the therapy, helping the client feel safe enough to open up emotionally. During this time, the therapist also helps the client develop emotional regulation skills—techniques to calm the nervous system when stress or fear arises.

Another key part of this phase is learning nervous system awareness. Clients begin to recognize how their body responds to triggers, stress, or emotional overwhelm. By understanding these responses, they can better manage them and feel more in control during trauma processing.

Desensitization: Processing with Care

Bilateral stimulation tools and EMDR therapist using hand movements during a session.

Once a stable foundation is in place, the desensitization phase begins. In basic protocol, this is where the therapist guides the client through painful memories while using bilateral stimulation—usually rapid eye movements—to help the brain process and release distress. In AF-EMDR, this step is done more gently and slowly, especially for clients with developmental trauma.

AF-EMDR often uses alternative bilateral stimulation methods such as:

  • Tapping (on hands, knees, or shoulders)

  • Audio tones that alternate between ears

  • Buzzers or hand-held devices that vibrate in alternating patterns

These methods are chosen based on the client's comfort and sensitivity. The therapist checks in frequently to ensure the client stays within a tolerable emotional range, adjusting the pace or stopping entirely if needed.

If a client becomes stuck or overwhelmed, the therapist may use relational interweaves—supportive words, reminders, or imagery—to help the process move forward in a safe way.

Closure & Integration

After processing a traumatic memory, the session ends with a focus on closure and integration. This step helps the client feel calm and grounded before leaving the session, even if difficult emotions were stirred up.

The therapist may guide the client to reconnect with imaginal nurturers or other internal resources developed earlier. These supportive figures help reinforce a sense of emotional safety and strength.

Over time, as the brain processes old memories and the client experiences new patterns of emotional support, they begin to rewrite their internal narratives. They no longer see themselves through the lens of abandonment, shame, or fear—but instead as worthy, resilient, and capable of healthy connection.

This integration is what makes AF-EMDR so powerful. It’s not just about clearing trauma—it’s about building a new emotional foundation rooted in safety, connection, and self-compassion.

Person standing by a lake with a mountain view, representing healing and personal growth through trauma therapy.

Somatic and Attachment-Focused EMDR

Body-Based Trauma Memory

Somatic symptoms of trauma illustrated through body pain and emotional distress in different body parts.

When it comes to healing relational trauma, talk alone isn’t always enough. That’s because trauma doesn’t just live in your thoughts—it lives in your body. Many people with developmental or attachment trauma carry stress, fear, or emotional pain deep in their nervous systems, even if they can’t fully explain it in words. This is where somatic awareness becomes essential.

Somatic simply means “of the body.” In Attachment-Focused EMDR (AF-EMDR), somatic awareness helps clients tune into physical sensations—like tightness in the chest, shallow breathing, or tension in the shoulders—that often signal unprocessed trauma. By noticing these sensations during therapy, clients learn to listen to their body’s messages and respond with care rather than fear.

Therapists may use tools such as:

  • Breathwork – simple, grounding techniques to calm the nervous system

  • Felt sense – gently observing what’s happening inside the body without judgment

  • Posture tracking – noticing how the body shifts in response to memories or emotions

These somatic practices help reconnect clients to their bodies in a safe way, especially if they've spent years feeling disconnected due to trauma.

Combining Body and Mind

In AF-EMDR, therapists thoughtfully integrate somatic tracking into the EMDR process. For example, during bilateral stimulation, the therapist may pause and ask, “What are you noticing in your body right now?” This encourages clients to stay connected to their physical experience as they process emotional memories.

If a client becomes overwhelmed, the therapist might guide them back to their breath or to a calm internal image. These gentle redirections help prevent emotional flooding and support nervous system regulation, especially important for clients with complex trauma or dissociation.

Four-step illustrated breathwork exercise to help clients ground and regulate during trauma therapy.

For people who’ve learned to disconnect from their bodies to survive, this process can be deeply healing. As clients build awareness and trust in their physical experience, they often gain a new sense of safety—both inside themselves and in their relationships.

By weaving together body-based practices with attachment repair, AF-EMDR offers a holistic path to healing that honors both the mind and the body. It’s not just about revisiting the past—it’s about restoring the ability to feel present, grounded, and whole.

Client Experience: What It Feels Like

Common Reflections

If you’ve ever searched “Does EMDR help with attachment trauma?” or “What does AF-EMDR feel like?”, you’ll likely find a range of honest, emotional stories on Reddit and similar forums. People often turn to these communities to share their fears, progress, and breakthroughs—and what they say can be incredibly validating.

One of the most common questions is:
“Is it normal to feel worse before you feel better?”
The answer? Yes. Many users describe an initial period of emotional discomfort as old memories, feelings, and beliefs surface. This doesn’t mean therapy is going wrong—it’s a sign that deep, core material is being processed. With the right support, most people move through this phase and come out feeling stronger and more emotionally grounded.

Others ask:
“Has anyone improved their attachment style with EMDR?”
Several responses reflect real change. People talk about going from anxious or avoidant behaviors to more secure, connected relationships. Some even describe a “rewiring” of how they view themselves and others—a shift from fear and shame to self-compassion and trust.

Client reviews and Reddit testimonials about EMDR and attachment-focused trauma healing.

These discussions also highlight important themes like:

  • Feeling emotionally raw after sessions

  • Learning to trust their therapist over time

  • Relief in finally naming and healing lifelong patterns

While not every story is linear, many emphasize that AF-EMDR is worth the emotional effort, especially when combined with a skilled, supportive therapist.

Therapist Perspectives

Illustrated therapist and client sharing a moment of connection and safety in therapy.

Therapists trained in Attachment-Focused EMDR often emphasize one thing above all: pacing matters. Unlike traditional EMDR, which can sometimes move quickly through trauma processing, AF-EMDR is more relational and flexible. Practitioners understand that clients with attachment wounds may need more time to feel safe, seen, and ready to process.

A key part of the therapist’s role is maintaining consent and co-regulation. That means checking in frequently, adjusting the pace based on the client’s emotional state, and staying emotionally present throughout the session. Instead of pushing a client through a difficult memory, the therapist may pause to use grounding tools, imaginal nurturers, or supportive dialogue.

Therapists also highlight how powerful the therapeutic relationship becomes in AF-EMDR. For clients who never had a secure attachment figure, the therapist often serves as a new model of trust, care, and emotional attunement. Over time, this helps the client internalize those qualities and build a more secure inner world.

In both client and therapist experiences, the process of AF-EMDR is described as transformational—not just because it helps resolve trauma, but because it creates space for emotional connection, healing, and self-worth to grow from the inside out.

When AF-EMDR Might Not Be the Best Fit

Who Should Avoid EMDR or AF-EMDR?

Table outlining symptoms and reasons to delay EMDR or Attachment-Focused EMDR sessions.

While Attachment-Focused EMDR (AF-EMDR) can be life-changing for many, it’s not the right starting point for everyone. Some individuals may need more preparation or a different approach before engaging in this type of trauma work.

People who may need to avoid or delay EMDR—especially AF-EMDR—include those experiencing:

  • Active psychosis or delusional thinking

  • Unstable dissociation, where a person regularly disconnects from reality or themselves

  • Severely dysregulated nervous systems, with little ability to manage emotional overwhelm

For these individuals, trauma processing can sometimes be too intense, leading to emotional flooding or shutdown. In these cases, jumping into EMDR—even with a gentler, attachment-based approach—may do more harm than good.

That’s why a thorough psychological assessment is essential before beginning any EMDR work. A trained therapist will evaluate a client’s emotional stability, dissociative symptoms, and overall readiness. If needed, they’ll recommend alternative therapies or stabilization work before EMDR begins.

Alternatives for Early Stage Stabilization

Comparison chart of DBT, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems therapy approaches.

If AF-EMDR isn’t a good fit right away, there are other effective therapies that can help build the emotional regulation and body awareness needed to prepare for trauma work later on. These approaches focus on safety, coping skills, and self-understanding before digging into painful memories.

Here are three common alternatives used for early-stage stabilization:

  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT):
    Especially helpful for clients with intense emotions or borderline traits, DBT teaches core skills like mindfulness, distress tolerance, and emotional regulation.

  • Somatic Experiencing (SE):
    This body-focused therapy helps clients gently release stored trauma by tracking physical sensations and calming the nervous system—without needing to relive past events.

  • Internal Family Systems (IFS):
    IFS helps clients understand and connect with different “parts” of themselves, including protective parts that may block trauma processing. It’s especially useful for clients with dissociation or inner conflict.

These methods can be powerful on their own or used as preparation for AF-EMDR down the road. The goal is to help clients build safety, trust, and inner stability so that when EMDR begins, it can be as healing—and as safe—as possible.

Training & Certification

Laurel Parnell’s Training Programs

If you’re a therapist interested in using Attachment-Focused EMDR (AF-EMDR), training through Dr. Laurel Parnell’s programs is the gold standard. As the founder of AF-EMDR, Dr. Parnell offers both online and in-person training options designed to teach therapists how to safely and effectively work with clients who have experienced early attachment trauma.

Her programs typically cover:

  • The 5 basic principles of attachment-focused EMDR

  • How to use imaginal nurturers and internal resources

  • Modifications to the standard EMDR protocol

  • Case studies and real-life examples

Therapists can choose from foundational workshops, advanced clinical trainings, and even certification pathways through the Parnell Institute. Many programs offer continuing education (CE) credits and are accessible for clinicians across different experience levels.

Who should pursue AF-EMDR certification?
Therapists who already practice EMDR and want to deepen their work with clients struggling with developmental trauma, attachment issues, or relational challenges are great candidates. It’s also ideal for clinicians working with survivors of childhood neglect, abandonment, or emotional abuse. Having a background in trauma-informed care or attachment work is helpful, but not always required.

How to Find an AF-EMDR Mental health professionals

If you’re looking for a qualified mental health professional, the right keywords and directories can make all the difference. Try searching phrases like:

  • Attachment focused EMDR provider near me

  • Laurel Parnell-trained EMDR therapist

  • AF-EMDR for childhood trauma

You can also explore professional directories such as:

When reaching out to a therapist, don’t hesitate to ask about their EMDR background, attachment training, and experience with developmental trauma. Finding someone with the right expertise ensures you’ll get the compassionate, personalized care that AF-EMDR is known for.

Call to action for trauma healing with buttons to find a therapist, explore training, and download a guide.

FAQs About Attachment-Focused EMDR

  1. What is attachment focused EMDR?
    Attachment-Focused EMDR (AF-EMDR) is a specialized form of EMDR developed to treat early relational trauma. It blends traditional EMDR techniques with attachment repair strategies, helping clients build emotional safety, trust, and internal resources before processing painful memories.

  2. What’s the difference between EMDR and attachment focused EMDR?
    Standard EMDR follows a structured 8-phase model to process trauma. AF-EMDR adds elements like imaginal nurturers, relational interweaves, and flexible pacing to support clients with developmental trauma or insecure attachment histories.

  3. Does EMDR help with attachment issues?
    Yes—especially when used in an attachment-focused format. AF-EMDR is specifically designed to address the emotional wounds left by neglect, abandonment, or inconsistent caregiving in childhood. It helps target development and dynamic theoretical areas.

  4. What happens in attachment-based therapy?
    Clients work with a therapist to explore early life experiences, identify attachment wounds, and develop internal support systems. Techniques like resourcing, body awareness, and visualization are often used to build safety and emotional regulation.

  5. Who should avoid EMDR?
    EMDR may not be appropriate for people with severe mental illness such as active psychosis, unstable dissociation, or severe emotional dysregulation. A thorough assessment is key before starting any trauma therapy.

  6. What is the attachment theory of EMDR?
    It’s a model that combines John Bowlby’s theory with EMDR specifically, focusing on healing trauma rooted in early attachment wounds. It helps clients rebuild emotional security and rewire how they relate to themselves and others. The goal is to build and utilize more attachment repair resources.

  7. Is AF-EMDR suitable for anxious attachment?
    Absolutely. AF-EMDR can help reduce anxious patterns by creating a sense of inner stability and repairing the nervous system's response to relational stress.

  8. What training is needed to become an AF-EMDR provider?
    Therapists must be EMDR-trained (typically through EMDRIA) and then complete specialized AF-EMDR training, such as the programs offered by Dr. Laurel Parnell or the Parnell Institute.

  9. What’s the difference between EMDR and EFT?
    EMDR helps process trauma using bilateral stimulation, while Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a relationship-based therapy focused on emotional connection—especially in couples work. Both are powerful but serve different goals.

  10. Why is EMDR controversial?
    Some skepticism exists about the role of eye movements in healing, and not everyone responds the same way to EMDR. However, a growing body of research supports its effectiveness, especially when applied by trained clinicians in a safe, supportive environment. EMDR has been labeled safe for private practice, talk therapy, and has been used by many different mental health professionals including clinical psychologists, licensed professional counselors, licensed marriage and family therapists, and more.

Conclusion

Attachment-Focused EMDR (AF-EMDR) represents a true shift in how we approach healing from trauma. Rather than focusing solely on symptoms or isolated events, this method goes deeper—prioritizing emotional safety, secure connection, and relational repair. For those carrying the invisible wounds of childhood neglect, abandonment, or misattunement, AF-EMDR offers not just relief, but transformation.

Whether you’re a therapist looking to expand your tools, a client ready to heal from early attachment trauma, or someone simply curious about this work, AF-EMDR opens a door to something powerful: the chance to feel seen, safe, soothed, and secure—maybe for the first time.

If this path speaks to you, there are great next steps to explore:

  • Want to train in AF-EMDR? Check out programs through the Parnell Institute.

  • Looking for a therapist? Use search terms like “attachment focused EMDR therapist” or visit the EMDRIA directory.

Healing is possible—and with the right support, it can start today.

  • Over it & Onward

  • Over it & Onward

  • Over it & Onward